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Beating the Teen Years

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There is nothing worst then a rebellious teen, right? I would be lying if I said I didn't have my far share of rebellion during my teenage years. I never did anything per se but I sure knew exactly how to make turbulence explode in the household. I was not an easy teen but somehow my parents handled me. Not sure how but they did it. With that in mind, how is it best to get to the brain of a teenager? Well, the first thing you need to do is make sure you know what goals a teen has in life. Psychologists have studied teenagers for a while, and throughout years they have come down to the basic core elements of what makes up a teen. These core goals consist of: Belonging, Power, Protection, Withdrawal, and Challenge. Teen and parental struggle start to develop when there is a hindrance of one or more of these goals. When this happens, their actions reflect negatively. They may look a lot like the following list: Undue attention seeking, Rebellion, Revenge, Avoidance, and Thrill...
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Fatherhood

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As Thanksgiving is coming to a close and Christmas is on its way, I invite you all to consider one of the greatest gifts that you've got. That gift is yourself. You are here because a man and a woman created you. I want to focus on fatherhood this week and why this is so important. I, myself, personally grew up in a family that had both my mother and father there; however I know some that may be reading this article did not. Some may even, unfortunately, have a distrust or disliking to their father. For whatever the case, I want to inspire you to either prepare to become a father or to even reach out to your father and say thank you for everything they've done. Please note, I will be covering ideas and suggestions that I found through research studies. At the same time, I am focusing upon key points and fundamentals that I find appealing. Think about the father figures in your life and how they possibly follow under these concepts. When it comes to fatherhood, I ...
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Offense or Defense

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In regards to the Thanksgiving holidays, I am going to post my blog this week a few days earlier than normal. Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays, so I hope everyone has a great day and remember everything that you've been blessed with. Communication is something that we do all day, every day; especially during this upcoming holiday season. With family coming around, old and new wounds might form through miscommunication. Since communication is the number one problem that relationships have, I want to give some tactics and advise in which you can overcome all negative communication and even improve relationships where communication is seen to be well done. Imagine that you are walking down an alley in the roughest neighborhood you have. You hear something move behind you, so you turn to see who it is. The person is taller than you, more physically fit, and has their arms up in proper boxing positions. What is your instant response? If you are like 99% of soci...
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Another Stressor Bites the Dust

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The only problem about a problem is your attitude about the problem. Or at least that I try to tell myself whenever there is a problem that comes into my life. Stress is a natural occurrence that will inevitably happen to all us. That is a truth that we all can rely on. These stressing events, or stressors, usually comes when we are not prepared which causes us to have anxiety. As we know, these stressors may be what determines much of what a family is. A stressor may even end a good healthy family if not handle appropriately. That is what I wish to focus on in the blog today, is the ability for you to know how to handle stress better and to take this into your family (or roommates). Healthy methods of coping start with yourself. First, lets review so VERY COMMON ways of coping that are maladaptive. I will pull a lot of this information from Jeffrey S. Nevid's book "Abnormal Psychology In a Changing World." First there are two types of coping that we can approa...
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Don't Go for the Slam Dunk

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This may be one of the few times in your life that you are told not to expect the absolute best. There are a few things in life where the expectations are ridiculous and the consequence of such may last for decades. The "don't go for the slam dunk" I am referring to is sex. Now, don't think I am saying that sex can't be a great and amazing thing, for it is, but there are some myths and misconceptions that need to be address to be able to make sex an amazing experience from the VERY BEGINNING. I grew up in a conservative area, where sex was not something talked about that often In fact, thoughts and conversations about sex was somewhat seen as a taboo topic. This, in turn, made me become so terrified that I truly never really talked about sex until I was late in my teenage years (I know, my innocence was probably not the best thing.) I remember laying in bed some night as a gentle thought of one day having sex crept into my head. It would make me cri...
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What to Expect After You Expected

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There is no greater joy in life than the arrival of a new bouncing baby, right? Well, not from personal experience, but this joy isn't exactly statistically supported in the way that this "bundle of joy" is a continual blessing in all of ourselves. I do forewarn that this blog this week is based upon observations and not personal experience. I have not had a child and not expecting one any time soon. I feel, however, that many of my associates are either married and preparing in time to have a child, pregnant now, or having a chance to parent their own children. Soon after the mother finds out that they are expecting, there begins a spontaneous explosions of plans to meet this angel-in-the-making's needs. There is, however, not so much emphasis between husband and wife to be able to make this adjustments between themselves. There are a lot of changes that occur once the baby is born. Typically, the father's work load increases by 37% and the mot...
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When in Doubt, Make Out

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In light of a recent conversation I had with one of my squad members, I was discussing how my blog this week was going to be about dating. The cadet then responded to me something along the lines of: "Girls don't know how to communicate. But if you want a relationship, go for the make out." I will give my cadet friend some credit, that is exactly what the culture is like nowadays. Although, how many people want to get into a relationship knowing that the individual finds intimacy, such as kissing, as a recreational activity. This is not a healthy method of conducting dating habits. Even if you fall into this category and wouldn't mind a non-committed make out (NCMO), I invite you right now to STOP IT. This style of dating is damaging and overall has lead hundreds to thousands of individuals to marriage therapist and/or divorce. To be able to get to marriage there are four steps a couple must go through to reach the final step of marriage. The first step is ...
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